What is Gottman Theory?
Gottman Theory and therapy is a relationship counseling approach developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. The theory is based on decades of research on couples and their interactions, and the therapy is designed to help couples improve their relationships and resolve conflicts.
The key elements of Gottman Theory include understanding the ways in which couples interact, identifying patterns of behavior that lead to relationship problems, and developing strategies to improve communication and problem-solving skills.
One of the most important aspects of Gottman therapy is understanding the "Four Horsemen," which are four negative patterns of behavior that can lead to the deterioration of a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Criticism involves making global, negative statements about one's partner, such as "You always..." or "You never..."
Contempt involves showing disrespect or disdain for one's partner, often through sarcasm or eye-rolling.
Defensiveness is a response to criticism or contempt, in which one partner becomes defensive and denies responsibility for the problem.
Stonewalling is when one partner withdraws emotionally and stops communicating with the other.
Gottman therapy encourages couples to shift away from these negative patterns and towards positive behaviors, such as showing appreciation and gratitude for one's partner, being open to feedback, and actively listening to one's partner.
Gottman therapy also emphasizes the importance of creating "emotionally safe" spaces for couples to communicate and build trust. This can be done by setting aside regular time for couples to talk, being open to vulnerability, and respecting one's partner's feelings and perspectives.
In addition to addressing specific problems, Gottman therapy also helps couples to develop a deeper understanding of their relationship and to build a more secure and loving bond.
Overall, Gottman therapy is an effective approach for couples who are looking to improve their relationship and resolve conflicts. It is based on decades of research, and it has been shown to be effective in helping couples to improve communication, build trust, and deepen their connection.
Therapists at Roots & Branches use Gottman and other research-based approaches to guide couples. If you would like to learn more about the practice of Gottman, or if you’ve seen one or more of the four horsemen mentioned above in your own relationship, you may be looking for a couple’s therapist. Reach out to our office at hello@rootsbrancheswellness.com to book an appointment.
