Behind the Name Tag: How Gender Shapes LDS Missionary Experiences
When we picture LDS missionaries, we might think of those familiar black name tags, modest attire, and the classic two-by-two companionships walking down neighborhood streets. With nearly 68,000 full-time missionaries serving worldwide as of the end of 2023 including a significant number of young women, missionary service remains a cornerstone of LDS experience. But beneath this recognizable image lies a far less uniform experience—one significantly shaped by gender.
Recent research by Madelin Pepper, who interviewed 12 former missionaries and surveyed 39 more, pulls back the curtain on these differences. Her findings show that being a "Sister" missionary versus an "Elder" comes with distinct challenges that can affect mental health in profound ways.
The Beauty Burden
For female missionaries, appearance expectations often went far beyond the standard dress code. One former missionary named Bryn shared how her mission leaders singled out sisters for special "beauty training":
"My appearance was everything in my mission. When I was serving, the sisters were responsible for leading tours for the temple open house. The mission president and his wife pulled all the sisters aside and essentially gave us beauty tips and told us that we needed to put more effort into how we looked... but so were the elders, and they didn't get that talk."
This wasn't just a casual suggestion. The mission president's wife "brought in her daughter to show us all how to apply makeup and do our hair," Bryn recalled, adding that the experience "felt humiliating."
"Slim Down or No One Will Marry You"
More alarming were reports of mission leaders directly commenting on female missionaries' weight. Morgan described a troubling pattern:
"My mission president openly fat-shamed the sisters in my mission, and I was one of the sisters who was fat-shamed by him. When sisters were about to go home he would take their car away so they would have to walk everywhere, so they could 'slim down' because if they were fat no one would want to marry them."
The damage wasn't just emotional—it led to serious health consequences: "I struggled with an eating disorder on my mission because of that and so did a lot of my companions."
"You're Just Being Dramatic"
When female missionaries raised concerns—even about safety—they often faced dismissal. Maya's experience became so frustrating that she eventually stopped seeking help altogether:
"There were so many times where my zone leader, district leader, and even my mission president...they would just dismiss anything I shared or reported to them and just tell me that I was being dramatic. I got to a point where I just stopped reaching out for help because they wouldn't help me anyways."
This pattern created a dangerous cycle where legitimate problems went unaddressed simply because they came from female voices.
The Leadership Ladder: Different Rungs for Different Genders
The research also highlighted stark differences in leadership opportunities. While male missionaries could progress through multiple leadership positions with increasing authority, female missionaries found themselves in more limited roles.
As Allie put it: "Sisters don't really have any leadership or power in the mission, compared to elders. We can't really do anything without an elder. If we have someone who is getting baptized, we need an elder to baptize them, they have to do the confirmations, and they get to do the baptismal interview."
Even the leadership positions available to women felt tokenistic to some: "The role of an STL [Sister Training Leader] is just them throwing us a bone to appease us."
By the Numbers: Gender as a Barrier
The survey portion of Pepper's research confirmed these experiences weren't isolated incidents. When asked about barriers to receiving support during their mission, over a third of respondents specifically identified their gender as a factor.
This data point is particularly significant because it shows how gender doesn't just affect individual interactions—it can become a systemic barrier to accessing help when struggling.
Breaking the Silence: Why This Matters
These findings matter because they help explain why missionary experiences can vary so dramatically. Two people can serve in the same mission, during the same time period, and come home with completely different stories.
The additional pressures placed on female missionaries—from appearance standards to dismissal of concerns to limited leadership roles—create extra layers of stress on top of the already challenging missionary experience.
Creating Healthier Missions for Everyone
Pepper's research suggests several practical ways to address these issues:
Standard mental health protocols that don't vary based on a missionary's gender
More mental health professionals available in mission areas
Required training for mission leaders on gender bias and mental health support
Preparation that matches reality for all missionaries
Regular safety evaluations of missionary housing and areas
Equal leadership opportunities regardless of gender
Mental Health Impact and Moving Forward
The gender differences documented in this research directly impact mental health. Morgan's struggle with eating disorders, Maya's isolation after being repeatedly dismissed, and the collective stress of navigating appearance-based judgment all represent serious mental health challenges that went largely unaddressed.
As Pepper's research shows, these aren't just uncomfortable situations—they're potential catalysts for anxiety, depression, and long-term psychological distress. The survey revealed that 24 out of 39 respondents felt the stress from their mission negatively impacted their mental health while serving, with many continuing to experience effects years later.
If you're a former missionary who experienced these gender-based stressors: your mental health struggles weren't a personal failure. The system placed additional burdens on you because of your gender, and the difficulty you experienced was real.
For those preparing to serve: understanding these patterns means you can prepare specific mental health strategies and build support networks before departing. Consider learning basic stress management techniques, clarifying communication channels for serious concerns, and identifying trusted individuals who can advocate for you if needed.
For mission leaders and church administrators: addressing these gender disparities is ultimately a mental health intervention. Eliminating appearance-based commentary, taking women's concerns seriously, and creating equal leadership opportunities would reduce unnecessary stressors that contribute to poor mental health outcomes.
