“Just Stop Thinking About It,” Doesn’t Work for OCD
When you hear "OCD," you might picture someone who likes things organized or washes their hands frequently. But obsessive-compulsive disorder is far more complex and far more distressing than these common misconceptions suggest. At its core, OCD involves intrusive thoughts—unwanted, distressing thoughts, images, or urges that seem to appear out of nowhere and feel outside of your control. These worries are persistent, disturbing, and trigger intense emotional reactions like fear, disgust, or doubt. A lot of times, people with OCD hear, “Just stop thinking about it,” as a response to these worries, and unfortunately, that’s not how OCD works.
You can’t simply will away intrusive thoughts any more than you can will away a migraine. The harder someone tries to “just stop thinking about it,” the stronger the thoughts often become. It’s like being told not to think about a pink elephant–suddenly, that’s all your brain wants to focus on. Except, with OCD, that elephant is terrifying, and your brain is convinced something terrible will happen if you don’t pay attention to it.
As therapists specializing in perinatal mental health, we often see clients struggling with intrusive thoughts during pregnancy and early parenthood. Sometimes these are part of the natural adjustment to becoming a parent. Other times, they signal something more serious: OCD. Understanding the difference can be life-changing.
What Is OCD?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a serious mental health condition that occurs when someone becomes caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings, while compulsions are repetitive behaviors or thoughts used to try to neutralize these obsessions or decrease distress.
Here's what makes OCD different from everyday worries or preferences: for a diagnosis to be made, this cycle must consume significant time (more than an hour daily), cause intense distress, or interfere with important activities the person values.
Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts occasionally. You might have a fleeting worry about leaving the stove on or a random disturbing image pop into your mind. Research shows most people have unwanted intrusive thoughts from time to time, but with OCD, these thoughts come frequently and trigger extreme anxiety that gets in the way of day-to-day functioning.
How OCD Presents
OCD manifests differently for different people, but the underlying pattern remains the same: an obsession triggers anxiety, which leads to a compulsion aimed at reducing that anxiety. The relief is temporary, which reinforces the cycle.
What this looks like in real life:
Consider Marissa, a young mother whose own mother was recently diagnosed with cancer. She starts worrying about reducing cancer risk for herself and her children—a reasonable concern that many parents share. But for Sarah, the concern spirals into obsession.
She begins checking air quality indexes multiple times daily before allowing her kids to play outside. She researches PFAs in household products and throws away most of her cookware. She has the carpets torn out of the house after reading about VOCs. Her grocery shopping trips take hours as she scrutinizes every ingredient label. She refuses to go outside during high pollen days or when air quality dips even slightly. At night, she can't sleep because she's reading yet another article about carcinogens.
Each of these actions seems reasonable on its own—who doesn't want to protect their family from cancer? But Sarah's life has become consumed by fear. She's spending 4-5 hours a day researching, checking, and eliminating perceived risks. Her family can barely function. Her anxiety hasn't decreased; it's gotten worse because there's always another threat to investigate, another product to replace, another precaution to take.
This is OCD. The obsession (fear of cancer) drives compulsions (researching, checking, eliminating risks) that provide temporary relief but ultimately trap her in an exhausting cycle.
Common obsessions include:
Fears about contamination or illness
Concerns about causing harm to oneself or others
Need for symmetry or exactness
Intrusive sexual thoughts
Religious or moral concerns (scrupulosity)
Doubts about relationships or identity
Common compulsions include:
Excessive washing or cleaning
Repeated checking (locks, appliances, etc.)
Counting or repeating actions
Seeking reassurance from others
Mental rituals like praying or reviewing events
Avoidance of triggering situations
What distinguishes OCD from personality preferences is that these obsessions and compulsions are "ego-dystonic"—they don't align with the person's values or desires. People with OCD are distressed by their intrusive thoughts and would prefer not to engage in compulsive behaviors.
When to Seek Help
Not every intrusive thought means you have OCD, but certain signs suggest it's time to reach out for professional support:
Your intrusive thoughts are consuming more than an hour of your day
You're engaging in repetitive behaviors to manage anxiety, even when you know they're excessive
Your daily functioning is impaired—you're missing work, avoiding social situations, or struggling with basic tasks
The thoughts cause significant distress that doesn't ease quickly
You feel compelled to seek constant reassurance from others
You're avoiding situations, places, or people because of your fears
If you're experiencing these symptoms, please know: this isn't something you can simply "snap out of," and it's not a reflection of your character or strength.
Perinatal OCD: A Critical Time for Recognition
Pregnancy and new parenthood bring enormous changes—hormonal, physical, emotional, and social. While it's normal to feel protective and anxious about your baby, some parents experience something more distressing.
Perinatal OCD (sometimes called postpartum OCD) occurs during pregnancy and/or after the baby is born. Like other forms of OCD, it consists of obsessions and compulsions, but these tend to focus on the unborn or newborn baby.
Perinatal OCD affects approximately 2-3% of all parents, though recent research suggests the actual number may be higher. Rates are elevated among individuals who had OCD before pregnancy.
What makes perinatal OCD particularly challenging?
New parents often experience intrusive thoughts—it's a normal part of the brain's hypervigilance around protecting a vulnerable infant. The difference is that with perinatal OCD, these thoughts become intense, upsetting, ongoing, and begin to interfere with the parent's ability to function or care for their baby.
Parents with perinatal OCD might experience obsessions about accidentally or intentionally harming the baby, contamination fears, or hypervigilance about the baby's health. They might engage in excessive checking, cleaning, or seeking reassurance. Importantly, these thoughts are deeply disturbing to the parent experiencing them—they go against everything they want and believe.
Perinatal OCD results from a combination of hormonal changes (particularly oxytocin, which relates to serotonin) and the significant shift in responsibility that comes with having a child. Because of these factors, perinatal OCD can affect all parents—birthing and non-birthing, fathers, adoptive parents, and same-sex partners.
It's also crucial to understand that intrusive thoughts in perinatal OCD are not the same as delusions or hallucinations present in postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency, while perinatal OCD is generally treated in an outpatient setting.
Finding the Right Support
If you're struggling with intrusive thoughts or compulsive behaviors, reaching out for help is the most important step you can take. But not all OCD requires the same level of care.
Traditional talk therapy can be beneficial for many mental health concerns, including mild anxiety or adjustment difficulties. Our practice specializes in perinatal mental health and can provide support during this transitional time.
However, OCD often requires specialized treatment, particularly evidence-based approaches like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), a specific type of cognitive-behavioral therapy. If you're experiencing symptoms consistent with OCD, we can help you determine whether our services are appropriate or whether you would benefit from working with an OCD specialist.
The good news? OCD responds well to treatment. Cognitive behavioral therapy featuring exposure and response prevention is the primary psychological treatment for OCD, and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective medication options. With proper support, people with OCD can experience significant relief and reclaim their lives.
You Deserve Support
Whether you're navigating the normal anxieties of parenthood or struggling with something more severe, you don't have to suffer alone. Intrusive thoughts can be frightening and isolating, but they are also treatable.
At Roots & Branches Wellness, we understand the unique challenges of the perinatal period. We're here to listen without judgment, help you understand what you're experiencing, and connect you with the appropriate level of care.
Ready to take the next step? Visit us at rootsbrancheswellness.com to schedule a consultation. Together, we'll determine whether traditional therapy is right for you or if a referral to an OCD specialist would better serve your needs. You deserve to feel like yourself again—and we're here to help you get there.
If you're experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out immediately. Contact the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
